


Peel Away The Bark

by TheBlindBandit



Series: Rocks And Water [2]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Gem Fusion, Guilt, Mother-Son Relationship, Week of Sardonyx, sardonyx has occasionally been known to smash, slowly and awkwardly patching things back up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-07
Updated: 2015-09-07
Packaged: 2018-04-19 14:46:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4750238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBlindBandit/pseuds/TheBlindBandit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wallowing in guilt and drowning in apologies, or: Pearl POV snippets from the Week of Sardonyx and its aftermath.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Peel Away The Bark

Sardonyx has been in wars and won battles almost single-handedly. It feels so very easy to forget, sometimes, with her layers and layers of glittery performance and immeasurably skilled, cheerful artifice. But there are times when the sound of a warhammer coming down on Homeworld troops echoes from across the ages, eerily incongruous with the laughter and the magic tricks and the rest of the set dressing.

In reality, the shards and dust left in Sardonyx’s wake then are very much like what she’s now done to her relationship with Garnet, Pearl thinks, sardonically - and oh, Sardonyx would have _loved_ that one. Such a pity she won’t be around to hear it anytime soon. If ever - honestly, she wouldn’t blame Garnet at all. She wouldn’t blame anyone.

_Pearl, you needy, greedy wreck._

-

Steven attaches himself to her side one morning and refuses to leave her to her moping all day. So she does laundry instead, and tries to find comfort in the pleasant repetition provided her by ironing and folding a considerable chunk of Steven’s wardrobe.

“Dad showed Connie and me Rainbow Quartz a few days ago.” It comes almost out of nowhere, and Pearl can’t tell if it’s supposed to be a vaguely guilty confession - if circumstances were any different, she’d already be making a note to have a serious talk with Greg - or a hesitant interlude to something she’ll probably find unpleasant.

“Did he, now?” There is nothing but highly deliberate flatness in Pearl’s voice. The movements she makes while folding Steven’s freshly pressed pants become even more precise and tightly controlled.

“Yeah! She’s such a great dancer, Pearl! I bet… I bet you really miss her.”

 _Which her?_ Who knows, and curse this wonderful child, extraordinarily perceptive at the very worst of times. Pearl forces out some sort of sound to let him know she’s listening, if nothing else.

“Do you think… if you and I fused, do you think she’d come back?” Steven sounds hopeful, perhaps, if subdued, and it all feels like another one of his strange ploys to offer comfort.

“I don’t know, Steven.” Pearl is tired, more than anything, and she lets it seep into her voice. Steven lets the matter drop with a look of sad defeat and _Pearl, you utter disaster, haven’t you piled enough on him already?_

“We’ll- we’ll just have to find out, won’t we?” She injects every last bit of cheer at her future prospects that she can muster into the words, and makes sure Steven sees the smile on her face, no matter how small. “One day we’ll see, I’m sure. Together. Now, why don’t you go play that game you got for your GameBox yesterday?”

And- oh, no, she knows that look very, very well, and knows there will be no resisting it. “Will you come play it with me, Pearl?”

-

The tiny stranded alien gets help from the planet’s even tinier colourful natives with fixing his ship, and soon enough he’s on his way home. The irony of it does not escape Pearl in the slightest.

Steven insists they watch the end credits - “It doesn’t count as beating the game otherwise!” - even though it’s way past his bedtime and his eyelids started drooping tellingly not far into the final level. His long day catches up with him quickly, and he is out like a light by the time names start scrolling across the TV screen in earnest. Pearl sets the controller aside and adjusts the warm bundle of little boy in her lap, folding her arms around him so his head rests more comfortably against her chest.

The footboard of Steven’s bed feels markedly different against her back than the creaky springs and dirty stuffing of the old armchair they’d been seated on then, but it doesn’t make it any less noticeable that their position is remarkably similar. And what a disastrous mess _that_ entire affair had been - quite a thing to make a habit out of.

Pearl wraps herself around Steven as if there’s something other than _her_ to protect him from in the small bedroom, and spends the night listening to his calm breathing and occasional soft snore.

-

The walls are closing in on them with deliberate crushing intent and Pearl feels like it’s a very apt metaphor for the directions her life likes taking, but then- Garnet is giving her a chance and - and that’s all she can really ask for, isn’t it?

She can’t stop the murmurs of _I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry_ and she’s not sure she ever will - some things are harder to shake off than others. Whenever she looks at Garnet nowadays she wants to apologise her entire existence away, and now is no different, but Garnet refuses to let her. “Come on, none of that now. We need to focus.”

The walls press close, but Garnet presses her closer, and the arms Pearl has nicknamed _Security_ and _Reassurance_ finally come around her again. She wouldn’t risk it otherwise, but their gems are warm and glowing, and they are already of one mind enough for her to be certain of it being welcome - Garnet meets her halfway when she leans in for a kiss, and they disappear together.

Sardonyx plays her part flawlessly, and doesn’t say a word.

-

She wants to start by making amends, so she tries apologising, too, for all the times, especially during the early years ( _of Steven_ ), when she refused to acknowledge Garnet or when she barked back to tell her that no, Rose would never do something like that, and that what she had in mind was nothing like Rose’s usual plans, and that _she_ was nothing like Rose-

Garnet merely nods, and says it’s fine.

“J-just like that? It’s _fine_?”

“It’s true. I’m not Rose and I never was.” Garnet shrugs. “I’m glad you acknowledge that.”

It seems far too easy, and she definitely doesn’t deserve easy right now. Pearl has a sneaking suspicion there’s more to it than that, and she takes Garnet’s next words as confirmation.

“It was a while ago, anyway.”

A lot of things were a while ago. It’s not something she deals with particularly well, she knows, and Garnet knows, and Amethyst knows, and Greg knows, and at this point Steven does, as well. Perhaps it’s finally time she learned.

-

Fusion is brought up sooner than she expected or ever wanted it to be, but the mission demands what it demands and the three of them are simply not enough. What surprises her far more is that both Opal and Sardonyx come up as serious options in their shared discussion. It’s a strange and intense feeling, but not an unpleasant one - the sensation of being given another chance.

She tries very hard to sound neutral and concerned only with the strategic aspects of available approaches. “We don’t exactly need this place intact afterwards, so we can just have Sugilite…” Pearl trails off with a small, elegant hand gesture that resembles nothing Sugilite is particularly known for doing. She hopes the implication of large-scale destruction is still there.

 _Heh. Never thought you’d be one to refuse a nice mashup, P._ The playful Amethyst voice is only in her head, and it’s something she never thought she’d miss - but there is a lot left to put back, after all, and some parts of the three of them still feel as awkwardly glued back together as one of Steven’s crafting projects gracing the fridge.

Pearl stands back as Sugilite finishes the job - quickly, efficiently, unfusing without protest.

Amethyst takes point on their trek to the warp pad with a brief comment about what a shame it is that Steven missed a chance to see them fuse, and Garnet hums in agreement, following a few steps behind. Pearl awkwardly hovers by her side as they walk, until finally, finally, Garnet has had enough of her hesitation. She takes one of Pearl’s nervously fluttering hands and places it on her forearm - it’s an old, familiar position for them, desperate clinging now replaced with simple holding on.

Pearl finds herself rolling the words _moving forward_ around in her mind, and they head back home.


End file.
